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"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not
be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the
foundations under them." - Henry David Thoreau
Robert Bly
said it best: "We spend our life until we're twenty deciding
what parts of our self to put into the bag, and we spend the
rest of our lives trying to get them out again." Core issues
are a universal feature of being human and afford us all the
opportunity for continued growth and development if we
are open to exploring their message and meaning in our lives.
This is a big "if" because as the popular psychiatrist M.
Scott Peck put it "mental health is a dedication to reality
at all costs" - and the cost of growth is usually pain. In
fact, he goes on to add that "perhaps the best measure of a
person's greatness is the capacity for suffering." For many
of us we live in a world where avoiding pain and suffering
has become second nature. Spacing out in front of the tube,
spending countless hours surfing the web, and of course
engaging in addictive behavior are all methods of avoiding
what we don't want to feel. To experience pain is to feel
it, and this takes us to the heart of core issues:
emotional hygiene. Most people are very naive about the
role emotions play in their life, and even more naive about
recognizing that emotions are at the root of mental health
and successful long-term addiction management.
Although approximately 80% of people
suffering from addictive behavior never seek formal
treatment, and many successfully decrease or stop their
addictions, quite often core issues remain unchanged. One of
the more common examples is the "dry drunk" who has stopped
drinking but continues to exhibit many of the destructive
behavior patterns. Sadly, even those who seek professional
treatment rarely have core issues addressed to any point of
resolution. In fact, the lack of effectively treating core
issues is among the most significant
failures
of our current treatment system,
and directly related to continued relapse and multiple
treatment episodes. Evidence for unresolved core issues is
pervasive and points to a disturbing trend: as a society
(whether addicted or not) we are becoming increasingly
unhealthy in mind, body and our connection with others. Core
issues take many different forms, and can be the result of
experiences that happen at any time in life. Here are the
some of the more common and prevalent core issues (in a very
broad sense):
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Mental Health Disorders: |
Mental health disorders in
large part reflect a breakdown of emotional hygiene.
One in five adults
meets criteria for a diagnosable mental disorder
during the course of a year, with the most common
problems being mood and anxiety disorders.
Unfortunately, for many the issues remain untreated.
Numerous studies also indicate that both mood and
anxiety disorders are on the rise. The National
Institute of Health published a study showing the
lifetime incidence of depression in adults
tripling from the 1980's to the 1990's (explained in
part by the dramatic increase in antidepressant
medication use). The prevalence of mental health
disorders with substance use disorders (called dual
diagnosis or co-occurring disorders) ranges from
55-85%. Successful long-term addiction management
hinges on appropriately dealing with mental health
problems. |
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Development Deficits & Constrictions: |
World-renowned developmental
psychiatrist
Stanley I. Greenspan
has outlined
six developmental stages
that are critical to achieving mental health. These
stages include: the ability to self-regulate
attention and emotion, engage with others, show
intention and purpose, make use of images, ideas and
symbols, and ultimately think emotionally. In one of
his most recent books,
The Irreducible Needs of Children,
he outlines seven needs that support the development
of the six stages. The needs include 1) ongoing
nurturing relationships 2) physical protection,
safety and regulation 3) experiences tailored to
individual differences 4) developmentally
appropriate exercises 5) limit setting 6) stable,
supportive communities and cultural continuity and
7) a future protected. Too often the roots of
addictive behavior can be found in the unmet needs
of children and teens. Developmental deficits and
constrictions are among the most significant core
issues that remain untreated. Are you able to
refrain from alcohol or shooting drugs, but struggle
to form healthy intimate relationships with others?
Do you know how to read the nuances of emotional
facial expressions and body language, or translate
strong emotions in the body like anger/rage into
thoughts that can rationally direct behavior? If
not, the key to long-term addiction management and
mental health is addressing the developmental
deficits and constrictions. |
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Relationships: |
Core issues are very much
related to the ability to initiate, develop and
maintain healthy intimate relationships (see
previous section). According to the foremost
authority on marriage in the world,
Dr. John Gottman, 67%
of first-time marriages will end in divorce over a
forty-year period, and
43% will end in divorce over a fifteen-year period.
These statistics, which have increased over the past
few decades, simply reveal what we all know:
maintaining a healthy intimate relationship is a lot
of work. But the work of maintaining an intimate
relationship is also the work of dealing with core
issues, because in the end it is the "core issues"
that end the relationship. Divorce trends tell only
part of the story. As a society we are becoming more
disconnected despite the advent of computer
technology. Face to face relationships and
interactions are being replaced by e-mail and web
cams. Chatting is done on-line instead of at the
park or grocery store. The gap between the "haves"
and the "have-nots" has been increasing for years,
leading to more gated communities and high-profile
security systems. Following the events of September
11th there is evidence that instead of people coming
together in more intimate ways, the patterns of
disconnect and isolation continue. Those who
struggle with addiction usually find themselves
isolated, alone and disconnected from society.
Therefore, successful long-term management of
addictive behavior necessitates learning to
be in relationship with others.
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Overweight & Obesity: |
We are in the midst of an
epidemic, with about 55% of the adult American
population being overweight or obese. In fact, in
the last twenty years the
prevalence of obesity
has more than doubled. What does this have to do with
core issues? In the book
Calm Energy Dr.
Robert Thayer reviews the research on mood
disorders, obesity and exercise and convincingly
documents how moods are very often the trigger for
overeating. In a review of over 50 scientific
studies done by Richard Ganley he concluded that
much of obesity is based on emotional eating. The
most common moods preceding overeating include
depression, anxiety, anger, boredom and loneliness -
in other words, negative moods (also primary relapse
triggers). In many cases these negative moods meet
criteria for a mental health disorder. Although
weight gain and obesity can often be linked to
underlying core issues, there are some who now
believe that people can be
directly
addicted to food.
Evidence of a
food-addiction link
has recently been found by Brookhaven National
Laboratory. It is also quite common for people
struggling with one addiction to develop a "cross"
addiction to food. This frequently occurs with sex
addicts. Of course, not all weight problems are the
result of unresolved core issues either. |
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Trauma: |
Although
trauma is
classified as a mental health disorder it really
deserves its own place when considering core issues
related to addictions. About 50% of all those
who seek treatment for substance use disorders have
a lifetime prevalence of
Post Traumatic
Stress Disorder
(PTSD),
and 25-33% meet criteria for current PTSD. For women
it could be even higher. Also, it is not uncommon
for people to suffer from multiple types of trauma
that include sexual, physical and emotional abuse,
as well as physical and emotional neglect.
Unfortunately, trauma is often missed in assessments
and screenings, and when it is found, rarely is it
addressed in any significant way. Currently, there
exist no practice guidelines for treating trauma in
the context of addiction treatment. Following the
trauma of September 11th,
nearly half the nation reported an increase in the
demand for alcohol and drug treatment.
Successful long-term management of addictive
behavior requires underlying trauma(s) be resolved. |
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Grief & Loss: |
Giving up a relationship to a substance or a
behavior can feel like losing a best friend. The
loss, if it is to be sustained, often must be
grieved appropriately. Even more powerful than grief
from addiction can be the loss of a loved one: an
innocent child taken suddenly from the world, a
parent who dies unexpectedly without the opportunity
to say goodbye, or the end of an intimate
relationship. Often, core issues related to grief
and loss are among the most painful and
long-standing. If you are serious about successfully
dealing with an addiction and have grief and loss
issues, it is absolutely critical that they be
addressed appropriately. |
Core issues
often do not fit so neatly into one of the above categories
and may also include:
-
Residue from growing up with alcoholic or mentally ill
parents who are unable to serve as role models for
emotional development and intimacy
-
Learning strategies for self-protection as a child that
as an adult result in isolation/loneliness
-
The emotional toll of taking care of, or growing up with
someone who has a serious medical condition (example
might be Alzheimer's)
-
A short, often only seconds comment from a trusted care
provider that creates a lasting scar
-
Multiple deaths or tragedies that lead to the belief
that everything worth caring about will not last - so a
protective strategy is to not invest emotion into
anything
-
Not being heard growing up, or as
one psychologist calls it "voicelessness"
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Aftermath of a loved one who
commits
suicide
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And of course the list goes on...
Getting
Professional Help
There are many paths to resolving core issues, and like
addictions, not all paths lead into a therapist's office.
But unlike addictions, resolving core issues is usually more
complex. Consider a person who has been divorced four times,
and despite the pain of each marriage and divorce continues
to marry partners who are abusive. Breaking a pattern of
abusive relationships can be done outside of therapy, but in
reality it is extremely difficult due to the "core issues"
that remain outside of conscious awareness. How do
you change something when you are not even aware of what
needs changing (or that something even needs to change)?
Addressing core issues can also be painful
work, and it is very often the case that you will have spent
years becoming an expert at avoiding pain. When the pain does seep
out, the emotion often is mixed with overwhelming FEAR. The
response to fear from years of conditioning (and nature) is
self-preservation, or survival. The learned behavior over
time is the ability to dissociate the overwhelming emotion
by psychologically pushing it out of awareness - locking it
away in the body - and ultimately regaining a sense of
safety. In truth, the process often is life-saving during
a traumatic experience, but it becomes problematic when
the response gets generalized to many situations throughout
life. To work through core issues requires as a foundation
feeling safe. In therapy, safety is created in a
number of ways including: 1) developing a trusting
relationship with a counselor over time 2) knowing that what
happens in sessions is confidential 3) the therapy office
becomes a "container" or space in which to work - with
physical boundaries - that reinforce safety (i.e. the abuser
is not in the room) 4) learning how to create safety in the
mind and body through various techniques and 5) consistency
- having a place to go each week that you can count on
creates consistency that often is very unlike living in
chaos.
With a
foundation of safety, therapy can progress and core issues
can be resolved and healed. It is very important to realize that since
these issues are primarily emotional in nature, their solution
also is an emotional one. Many folks will spend great
amounts of time (and money) in therapy "talking" about core issues and
wondering why they never get better. Talk therapy is very
effective for many problems in life, but is limited in its
ability to truly resolve emotional core issues. Utilizing
emotion-focused therapies are critical for success.
How to find a good therapist
- Brief overview of
how to locate a good therapist.
Healing
Trauma: A Therapist's Reflection on What Works
- An article I wrote about my own experience working as a
therapist healing trauma.
Trauma-pages - Since very
often core issues revolve around trauma, this
site is the most comprehensive one-stop-shop
for all your trauma needs. It is an amazing library of
information.
Focusing
- Most good therapists will say that the key to any therapy
working effectively is focusing. The ideas come from Eugene Gendlin and are among the most researched and widely used of
all methods for working with the body. Appropriate for many
different core issues.
How do
we heal from emotional trauma?
- Dr. Jeanne Segal's web site talks about how to get
unstuck from trauma - a good resource.
EMDR
Institute - In the last
decade use of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing
has become one of the hottest new methods for treating
trauma.
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